I’ve been quiet for a long time. Not totally quiet, but quiet enough. It’s been 5 years since my life pretty much came tumbling down around me, but that wasn’t when it began.
No it started 5 years before that. Before I said I do. It’s not possible for me to start from the beginning and move forward to now, there’s too much to remember, so much I haven’t forgotten, but I wish I could. There will be a lot of questions along the way. I know.
I will ask this of people who read this. I am sure that there will be judgements made. I can’t write down the things I’m going to write down and expect people to just keep an open mind, but I will ask that you be respectful. I am still married to this man. I will defend him if you attack him, it’s the nature of my beast. You are more than welcome to have your opinions on my choices and the decisions I’ve made, but I ask that you be respectful and TRY to keep an open mind and understand that I made decisions based on what I thought was the right thing to do or what I was capable of. I can call him a douchebag, but you can’t. I live with this, I have the right. You don’t. You have the right to click away from this blog and never come back to it.
My goal here is not really to help anyone get through their alcoholic marriage. I cannot offer advice on AA, Al-Anon, rehab, sober-living or any type of treatment that may or may not work for you or your loved one. My goal is to tell my story. The truth about what has happened, where I’ve been and maybe in this way I will figure out which way I should go.
Forgive me the choppy timeline I will probably present. I’ll do my best to identify the year, or the month- if I can. Maybe someday I will put it all together chronologically- but for now I’m gonna write it as I remember it, as I feel it- as I need to express it.
I thank you for reading, and listening and understanding.
